“I Can’t Control It!”

I know it’s been far too long since I’ve written anything, so I won’t even try to cover everything I’ve missed. But I was inspired to write tonight, so here I am.
This is Squishy:

Yes, he’s changed quite a bit since the last picture I posted, but he’s still the same crazy little boy he always was. He’s five years old now and in kindergarten. Loves mud and mess-making, being wild and rambunctious, babbles constantly and can’t keep his hands to himself. He can read and write well enough that it scares me a little, lol, and he’s passionate about singing and creating art (typically abstract, but that’s just his style.) He’s also incredibly sensitive, empathetic and intuitive, feels deeply, and understands concepts sometimes beyond his years. (For example, he knew *SPOILER ALERT* Tadashi was dead in Big Hero 6 even though I had to explain it to Jose.)

Squishy wants EVERYONE to be loved, even villains. He feels badly when they are hurt or destroyed, and just wants everyone to be happy. His favorite character in Frozen was Marshmallow – the big snow monster – and it made him happy for DAYS that Marshmallow found Elsa’s crown at the end of the credits. (Conversely, he was NOT happy when Marshmallow was melted by Regina on Once Upon a Time – I told him Elsa could just remake him another time…) When I asked him last October if he thought the actor Pablo Schreiber was a bad man (I happened to be reading an article where Pablo stated that he was currently the most hated man on TV, after season 1 of OITNB, and given his role at the time on Law & Order: SVU), Squishy looked at Pablo’s picture and deliberated for a few moments before announcing, “No. He’s my friend. I like him.” Since then, he has communicated with him several times through YouTube, Twitter and Instagram, even defending him against naysayers by reminding them that it’s just pretend and Pablo would never hurt anyone. Squishy loves EVERYONE and wants them to know it. And he wants everyone to love each other as well.

But sometimes Squishy forgets to love himself. And tonight was one of those nights. Earlier in the evening, he’d made a not so great choice when he was asked to clean up. He took the box of Lego creations Jose and he had made, that had been set in there carefully so as to not be destroyed before they could work on them on the future, and shook it back-and-forth as hard as he could because he was angry that Jose had taken the other box and left him with this one. In the process, of course, he destroyed most of what was in there – everything will have to be re-created and rebuilt. But we moved on with our evening without any great mishap. We had baths and dinner, watched Once Upon a Time, and the boys went to bed.

It wasn’t until about an hour after he gone to bed that I realized Squishy was crying. And this wasn’t “look at me! look at me!” crying, this was deep, heartfelt, sorrowful tears of regret. I went in and got in bed with him and asked him what was wrong. And he just held me and cried and said that he couldn’t stop thinking about the Lego creations he had ruined when he shook the box back-and-forth. He told me that he was just so upset because he knew that Jose would’ve been careful with that box but Jose didn’t listen when he asked him to take it. So he shook the box on purpose to show that he couldn’t be trusted with things that break. And now he felt terrible. He sobbed into my shoulder and said, “I couldn’t control my anger mommy. It’s just too quick and I can’t stop it!”

Oh, my little man. He does so break my heart sometimes! I stayed with him for awhile, and we talked. I shared a story of a time I was his age and I let my anger get the best of me. I wanted to show him that he wasn’t alone. Squishy calmed down while we talked, and he asked if he could say a prayer with me. He prayed for help with his anger, and that he wouldn’t ruin his Lego things next time. He hugged me and held on for what seemed like forever, and we told each other over and over that we loved one another, and finally he was ready to let go. Then he went to sleep within five minutes of me leaving the room.

And this just made me think tonight, that we all need to stop sometimes and listen. Listen for the cries of another who needs to talk, even if they’re not actually making any noise. Reach out to someone if you can see that they’re hurting. If they’ve changed recently and you’re not sure why, just see if they need a friend. Sometimes people simply want to know that they’re not alone. They need to be reminded that they’re loved. Yes, Squishy could’ve come out of his room and asked to talk with me, but sometimes that’s a really hard thing to do. I’m sure he was afraid if he got out of bed that he would be in trouble. Just like we are so often afraid of a negative reaction if we reach out to those around us when we desperately need to talk to someone.

If I had been listening to music or watching a show with my headphones on tonight (as I so often do in the evenings) and not heard him crying, who knows how long Squishy would’ve laid in there, sobbing tears of anguish and broken-heartedness before he cried himself to sleep?? I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to know his heart a little more and see what he was feeling. I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to share a part of me with him. There’s certainly nothing wrong with me listening to music or watching a show, but because I was present and able, I was there for him in exactly the way he needed.

So my prayer for all of you as you read this, is that you, too, might have the chance to stop what you’re doing and listen, and see if you can help another. And if you are the one who needs help, needs to be listened to, needs a shoulder to cry on and an understanding heart, my prayer is that someone will do just that for you. And to everyone: PLEASE REMEMBER TO LOVE YOURSELVES. You are worth it.

Happy first Sunday of Advent, 2014. Blessings, peace, and love to all of you.

Well, it’s not June!

So, at the close of my last update (around 10 months ago) I hoped that my next blog post wouldn’t happen this June. Well, it’s not June! Oh, dear. I have such good intentions for journals, I really do. And I LOVE buying them, holding them in my hands, looking at them, etc. I’m just terrible at writing in them. I had hoped that doing something on the computer would be more conducive to regular entries, but apparently I was wrong. **sigh** Lol.

Well, here’s a little bit about Jose and Squishy, since they’re the reason I’m here!

Jose is 7 and in 2nd grade now. He was SUPER anxious about going back to school this year (for the first time ever), but has really jumped into things now that he’s there. After the first day of school, he told Daddy, “Second grade is THE BEST!!! I still don’t want to be back to school, but 2nd grade is the best!” 2nd grade is also a lot tougher, come to find out, though he’s rising admirably to the challenge. Honestly, I think 2nd grade is going to be harder for us as parents than it will be for him, simply because we’re really having to start being active and proactive about making sure that everything is done and that we are assisting him in all the areas we need to be doing so. It’s not beating him down at all, but for me it’s being rather overwhelming. Huge, HUGE drawback to having two full-time working parents, honestly. Because, yes, that’s what the position I took last year has turned into. And I know it’s a God thing, but I’m questioning and struggling with how having this job is going to affect our family and especially Jose’s schooling. Back to Jose, though. He’s doing AR again, and will have the test soon to determine the correct level for him to be focusing on this year. This is also the first year that AR will be part of his reading grade. His teacher is a wonderful lady whose children I watched during my time at the YMCA and I am so happy he got her. He’s with his best friend again this year – another blessing. He’s also been seeing Dr. Beth off and on again to help with how the pressures of everything that’s happened in the past couple of years is bearing down on him. We’ve made behavioral changes, nutritional changes, attitude changes, etc. All in all, I’m pretty pleased with how those things have helped guide him back to a mental path where he feels more secure and able to take on the world with the correct reactions. My only issue right now is a strange lack of communication from Dr. Beth herself, which has never been a problem in the past. Working to resolve that now, but I’m worried that if this continues, it will be negative for Jose. But it’s in God’s hands and that’s where I’ll try to leave it. Outside of all that jazz, Jose has also taken up piano and gymnastics, both of which he has a great love and good deal of talent for. I don’t know where either one of those will take him, if anywhere, but for now, it’s enough that he enjoys what he’s doing. He’s also going to be taking the after-school art classes again at least twice this year. He’s currently enrolled in one of the fall sessions, and he’s planning to attend one in Jan/Feb with his best friend. The two of them are also participating in the school’s elementary art club which is in charge of several art installations which will be going up around campus.

Squishy is a bundle of energy and sunshine – in his 2nd year of preschool (actually considered a Pre-K class due to the material they’ll be working on) and will be having class half-day for the 1st semester and full-day for the second to help prepare for kindergarten next year. Life events have started to cause definite character formation in him, though he is still really working on discovering who he is. He is kind, sweet, and sensitive, but he is all boy and reacts in mind-boggling fashion sometimes to the world around him, lol. He is funny as can be, just like his brother before him, but sometimes a lack of filter gets him in trouble… One thing that has really developed and become apparent in him is just how deeply he feels. It isn’t so much that he wears his heart on his sleeve, but rather that his heart is an endless well, which honestly threatens to consume him sometimes. But, he’s only 4 and still has to figure out how much of himself to give to various parts of his life – right now he wants to give 200% of himself to everything and everyone, and that leaves him stretched really thin. Preschool is going very well and he’s having a blast! He loves his two teachers this year (Miss Michelle, whom Jose also had, and Miss Jen, who is new) and wants to do everything in his power to never disappoint them. He’s having some trouble with classmates simply because there are a lot of very strong personalities in the class this year, and he is one of the youngest students, but he’s really making strides in standing up for himself, knowing when to walk away, and knowing when to involve a teacher. Also (and this is a big blessing!) he’s been doing an EXCELLENT job of remembering to use his words instead of his hands to get his point across. For so long, when he was frustrated, it was simpler to just shove whoever he was angry with, but he’s maturing quickly in his kinder-prep environment and it’s amazing to see the difference between toddler and young man that’s rapidly occurring in him. Squishy is also a spiritual blessing for me. This isn’t to say that Jose isn’t, because he certainly is in his own way, but Squishy just sees things differently. He is very open and perceptive and comes to me with questions, statements, and dreams that often blow me away. He’ll talk about playing with Grandpa Bud (who passed away before Jose was even born) in the backyard, or come sit and tell me about when he was in heaven before he was born. He also has reoccurring dreams about what he calls his “alone house” where all sorts of events take place that are detailed and vivid and often include people he knows in various stages of their lives. It’s a little scary sometimes, honestly, but mostly, I just wish I could sit and listen to him forever before the weight and sin of the world squash whatever this beautiful and innocent spiritual connection he currently has with God out of him.

My two boys are so opposite from one another and yet so alike in sometimes terrifying ways. I wish I could protect them from all loss and hurt, especially since they seem to have experienced both in extraordinary quantities for ones so young. Yes, I realize they have lead charmed lives compared to the great majority of the world’s child population, but in that charmed life, there can still be pain. Friends coming in and out of their lives. Loved ones who are no longer part of their world due to the changing needs and relationships of those who first introduced them. The realization that girls and boys grow up and may not always be able to remain best friends, because of what life dictates (I can’t even listen to “Best of Friends” from The Fox and The Hound without tearing up.) Being teased by friends or family – such a simple silly thing to the ones doing the teasing, but such a blow to the heart of one who sees the world differently. Their aunt, whom they knew for such a short amount of time, yet fell so head over heels for, passing away from cancer this past February. Even simple things like their fish, hamster, or the mama bird at school dying. And there is so much more. It just seems to compound to the point of night terrors, lashing out in anger, and breaking down sobbing for no apparent reason until they realize what the root cause of their heartache is. They love the people in their lives with every fiber of their being and are intense and serious in that love to the point that rejection (even something as small as a roll of the eyes and a, “Really?” regarding a t-shirt worn with such pride prior to said reaction) is a devastating experience.

And my problem and dilemma is one my mother faced with me: Do I sit them down and explain the hard and hurtful truth that not everyone is going to love them or even like them and that they need to toughen up? Or do I allow them to continue pouring themselves out to those they care for, all the while knowing how much hurt that can bring them? Do I rip off their rose-colored glasses or do I let them find out the harsh reality as it happens in time? Do I strip away their childish innocence for the sake of attempting to protect them from further pain, adding onto the glimpses they’ve already caught until they are cynical and flippant, making jokes out of any and every situation? Do I allow them to continue as they are, knowing they’ll be called wimps, pussies, mama’s boys, and worse if I let them cry when they need to cry and allow them to fully experience ALL human emotions? Is there some sort of happy medium between these two extremes???? At least, when it was me, I was a girl so most of those thing were considered more “acceptable” and less likely to make me a target (though I still managed to paint a pretty large bullseye on myself without really being aware of it.) But I’m raising two ultra-sensitive, crazy, loving, neurotic, artistic, athletic, intelligent, inquisitive, passionate, silly, somber (and more!) boys in a world that STILL after ALL this time seems to have a very definite picture of what a “real man” is and what he is not. And I don’t know if I’m prepared to handle the heartache that comes from that.

Now that I’ve rambled quite far down a rabbit trail I didn’t even see I was on, in closing a quote comes to mind (out of context, yes, but the sentiment is the same, entirely):

“‘I can bear pain myself,’ he said softly, ‘but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have.'” ~ Jamie Fraser, Outlander

I know, I suck at blogging… Lol

Well, clearly I am terrible at this! 😦 Almost 7 months have passed since my last post, and much has happened, but I’ll try to summarize. 😉

Jose graduated from Kindergarten (such a cute day they had for us proud relatives!) and lost a couple of teeth.  He also worked hard at the Accelerated Reader program he was accepted into early, and made great strides.  His capabilities in that area blow us away!

We went on a month-long road trip all over the country (Iowa, Michigan, Texas, back home) and SURVIVED!  Squishy couldn’t wait to get home by the end, and even asked if he could just go home by himself, ha ha. Jose, on the other hand, asked if we could go around the country a second time.

We had a great time on our trip.  Stayed in tons of hotels, but saw no bedbugs (thank God!)  Jose got to shoot a rifle.  Squishy and Jose both went to the Iowa Children’s Museum, and there were no broken limbs this time.  The whole family participated in a Murder Mystery dinner – totally awesome.  We thought Squishy had gotten into the Blue Hawaiians, but it turned out to be a Dum Dum.  **whew**  Celebrated Grandma Rosie’s 90th birthday, took in a Kernels game and fireworks on the 4th of July, and spent tons of time with everyone.

In Michigan we celebrated a bunch of birthdays – Jose turned 6 in June, Squishy turned 3 in July, and at least three other MI relatives had birthdays, too, so there was a ton of partying going on!  We rode 4-wheelers, went fishing from the canoe in the lake, make water features, went to a water park, and just generally made a bunch of good memories.

In Texas, we got the privilege of meeting a wonderful soul from Ethiopia who is soon to be part of our larger family.  He adored Squishy’s hair and was a complete blessing to be around.  Can’t wait to see him again!  We also were thrilled to have a family member get baptized in the ocean while we were there.  Really cool! 😀

We got the boys hamsters for their big birthday present once we were back in town – they named them Chocolate Cherry (Choco), and Solomon.  We also had their pictures done when we came home, because Uncle Dude bought them AWESOME Naval outfits.

Both boys started school shortly after returning home, and Mike went back to teaching for his 30th(?) year.  Mainly computers this year, which he’s not thrilled about, but knows the Lord has a reason for everything.  Squishy is in the 3’s class at the same preschool Jose went to, and Jose is in first grade with his best friend.  Squishy has LOVED school since day 1 – no tears from him!  Jose has had a little trouble with figuring out how to be a friend to someone who is raised with different values than you, so we’ve had many talks about that.  He seems to be doing well, though, and is showing more signs of not being afraid to be who he is w/o fear of what others will think/say.

At the beginning of October, I took on a long-term sub position in Squishy’s school (the Pre-K class) so that is exciting, scary, awesome, and daunting all at the same time.  It’s so nice though, because I don’t have to figure out where to put Squishy for daycare while I work, because he’s right there with me.  This job really fell right in my lap after a big shake-up at the Y involving my dad being laid off, and it is clearly a blessing straight from God.  I am still at the Y right now, too, but it seems as though the people I know there are dropping like flies!  But until God tells me, “Move!” I’ll stay right where I am.  And the boys love that we are still there because it means they can stay involved in activities/sports like soccer, swimming, etc. Jose got to participate in a swim meet before the “winter” season set in (meets become very limited at that point), and he got 1, 2, 3, and 5 place ribbons as well as a 3rd place all-around medal in his age/gender division.  So proud! 😎 Squishy played soccer with Aunt Eggy and had a blast!

The boys also started AWANA this year.  We looked into it after the men’s BSF group failed to find leaders for the children’s program (a gross irresponsibility to our youth, in my opinion, but no one’s asking.)  It has been a big hit with both of them.  They’ve been memorizing Bible verses left and right, asking theological questions, and asking to tell me stories they’ve learned.  Super glad to have this additional influence besides school and church.  And speaking of church, we’re in a period of transition right now, but we’re listening to God for the next move and trusting that He will lead as He’s always done.

Squishy had school pictures done that turned out SO adorable we just had to get them, too, despite having ones done this summer.  See??

This past weekend, Jose and I did the “Color Me Rad” 5K with his best friend and another friend from class – total blast, even if I didn’t manage to set the color into the shirts properly before washing them. 😐

And I think that just about brings me up to date on all/most of the important stuff.  There’s lots of other little things that have happened that I should have been writing about all along, but I don’t *think* I missed anything vital, ha ha!  Here’s hoping my next post won’t wait till next June… 😳

Dying From 10,000 Papercuts

“When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.  Or take ships as an example.  Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants it to go.  Likewise, the tongues is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.  Consider what a great forest is set on a fire by a small spark.  The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.  It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue.  It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.  My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” ~James 3:3-10

I have been embarrassed, humiliated, and saddened by things that have come out of my mouth – and this all under normal life circumstances.  When I pair my lack of self-control over my mouth with a stressful day, a cranky or unwieldy child, lack of sleep, fatigued husband, or any number of other situations that can be burdensome, the results are…  well…  extraordinarily shameful, to say the least.  As a parent, adult, teacher, leader, and caregiver I know right from wrong, how I should act/what I should say, and the consequences that can come when I fail to live according to the will and plan of God.  I am held to a higher standard and come under greater scrutiny before the Lord because of the influence I hold in my various roles and the fact that, simply put, I know better.  As someone who has been a Christian for two decades, my level of maturity (i.e. my ability to control my tongue) really ought to be higher than it is.

My tongue can direct, destroy, or bless.  Through the grace of God, I can claim to be someone who has a pretty good handle on using my tongue for appropriate direction of those under my influence and for blessing pretty much everyone in my life, in one way or another.  However, the destruction my tongue brings – especially to Jose and Squishy – all but outweighs the benefits it brings.  And this is terribly distressing to me because it is out of the overflow of the heart that the mouth speaks (Matthew 12:34, Luke 6:45.)  Knowing that, if angry, hurtful, inconsiderate, cutting, bitter, biting, rude, careless, condescending, cold, insincere, unfair, and selfish garbage is what comes out of my mouth more than anything else, what does that mean about the content of my heart??  What is pouring into my heart and mind – the wisdom of the world, which comes from Satan himself, or the wisdom of God?

A single spark can set an entire forest on fire.  In the same way, little remarks, insults, words of disapproval, etc. are like tiny little papercuts to my children.  And I am killing them with 10,000 papercuts – the words from my mouth.  Do I make Jose and Squishy safe, worthwhile, and valuable through my words?  Or am I reckless?  Piercing them with words like swords?  What kind of effect are my words having on my children?  Yes!  I make sure there is no doubt in their minds that I love them.  I tell them daily, I show them through my actions, I praise and thank them, I build them up, I teach them the Word, I guide, direct, instruct, help, comfort, edify, and soothe them.  But when they lay down at night, is it the, “I love you”s and “You are so special!”s they remember?  Or is it the, “Don’t act so stupid!”s, the “Why are you so naughty??”s, and the “Would you just shut up!!”s????  I know for myself that I hold onto the negatives in life far longer than the positives – why would my children be any different?  I can’t dismiss the backlash my words have on others just because I am a woman and women are known for being harpies, bitches, gossipers, shrews, etc.  It’s not an excuse and it is not in line with God’s will.

So, what can I do?  I can pray, be in the Word, study alone and in groups, pray, seek the council of fellow Christians, upright leaders, and the Spirit, align myself with God, pray, and above all, pray!  Pray for heavenly wisdom – wisdom that is pure, clean, wholesome, selfless, peace-loving, considerate of others, deliberate and careful to take other’s thoughts and feelings into account, submissive (having a readiness and willingness to yield to others where I can when it is not against God), compassionate and merciful, empathetic, sympathetic, fair, sincere, and which reaps a harvest of righteousness.

“Is anyone among you in trouble?  Let them pray.  Is anyone happy?  Let them sing songs of praise.  Is anyone among you sick?  Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with the oil in the name of the Lord.  And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up.  If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.  Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”  ~James 5:13-16

A prayer life is the mark of a mature Christian, just as is control over the tongue.  And if I pray earnestly for the will of God (not just trying to get him to do what I want, when I want), he will work on my behalf.  The passage says that it is prayers of the righteous that are powerful and effective.  The problem is that the Bible also tells us that there is none righteous – no, not one! (Romans 3:10)  So how can my prayers change anything?  What is all that praying about my tongue situation really going to accomplish?  Where can I get the righteousness I need?  From Christ himself.  At the moment of my salvation, His righteousness was transferred to me – I need to pray on the basis of HIS righteousness.  God is not required or forced to do anything as a result of my prayer, but the earnest prayer of a righteous woman immediately causes God to act on her (my!) behalf.

So does this mean that if I pray through Christ for self-control regarding my tongue, I will immediately be given the ability to never again speak in anger, frustration, bitterness, etc?  Probably not.  Yes, God could do that for me, if it was His will.  But it is more likely that this will be a process.  I may not get exactly what I want, but God will move in new and fresh ways to bring about His will in my life – a will that includes heavenly wisdom in speaking to others, especially Jose and Squishy.  If I want to mature in my faith and gain control over my tongue, I must pray on the basis of Christ’s righteousness and patiently wait on the compassionate and sovereign God to move on my behalf.  I can’t run ahead of God’s time-table, despite my suffering for the things I’ve said and the pain I’ve caused (and will likely still cause) in the lives of my children, and others.  I must not give up on prayer – or use prayer to beat up on God – when I feel He doesn’t respond “quickly enough.”  God knows what He’s doing, He is pursuing the best for me, and I have to trust the work He’s doing behind the scenes.

I’m BAAAAAAAACK!!!

Okay, so I won’t even bother to try and apologize for how long I’ve been away.  Totally my bad.  Sometimes I’m great at this blog thing, sometimes I stink.  More often the latter than the former, lol.  At any rate, let me catch you up on what you’ve missed!

October 2011

• I discovered Pinterest (I’ll see if I can figure out how to post a link to my page…)
• I organized our whole kitchen and we stopped using paper towels except for disgusting messes – the boys enjoy using facecloths for everything!
• Jose found Squishy’s old swim trunks (size 0-3 months) and put them on – picture to follow
  
• I pinned way too many things on Pinterest, lol
• The boys learned a hard lesson about reality. Reality dictates that when you are told you must behave in order to go to your friend’s birthday party in the afternoon, that doesn’t mean use your plates as frisbees and break one of them (Squishy), eat the food mom specifically set aside for her lunch and then lie and claim your brother did it (Jose), open your father’s computer and mess around on it while mom’s in the bathroom (Squishy), scream at your brother repeatedly at the top of your lungs (Jose), or continue to take your brother’s toys over and over and over after being told to knock it off (Squishy.)  They didn’t get to go to the birthday party.
• I got my Facebook timeline, which I personally LOVE
• The boys’ grandpa on Daddy’s side passed away (Oct 11, 2011) after having serious health issues for what seems like forever, and Jose was extremely upset that he didn’t get a chance to see him again before he died – cried for a long time 😥
  
• Jose had some night-time accidents out of the blue, but then stopped again (praise God!)
• Squishy and I made awesome Halloween crafts at the YMCA
• Squishy and I had a playdate with/babysat two adorable kiddos
• My friend’s father went missing and was just found yesterday after six months of intense prayer and searching – his family is obviously saddened at the loss, but rejoicing that they know where his is and where he is spending eternity
• Jose got sick and had to miss his first day of school, but got well and went back the next day to do his school’s Harvest Walk during which he walked 4.63 miles in 2 hours – he also won a giftcard for having the most sponsors of all the Kindergartners
  
• Squishy and I found a Starbucks gift card hiding in an old envelope and went out to get a treat
• The boys lost a half a roll of stamps – it was found 5 1/2 months later
• We all went to Flagstaff and enjoyed some time with Badi and Pop-pop – carved awesome pumpkins while we were there.  Jose had to go back to Phoenix for school, of course, and unfortunately, we ended up with no pictures of him on Halloween because the cameras were in Flagstaff and he wasn’t!  He was a doctor again, though, so we can just copy the ones from last year, lol. 😉
  

November 2011

• Jose learned how to ride his bike without training wheels!!  He went from training wheels to pushing off, riding all up and down the street, and stopping all in one day!
• Jose lost a 2nd tooth (November 8) – right next to the other one.  No more loose ones since then, though
  
  
• Aunt Laurla graduated with her nursing degree – woo hoo!!!
• Jose learned how to be even more of a smart-ass.  Case in point: “Daddy: Do you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Jose: No. Daddy: You don’t?? Jose: No. Daddy: Well, what DO you want? Jose: A poke in the eye with a sharp stick.”  Ha ha ha ha!!! 😀
• Jose was blessed with a gift (to be kept till Christmas) from an anonymous donor – the one thing he had specifically been talking about wanting, the Littlest Pet Shop Rescue Tails Center  ❤
• Jose and I made apple pie
  
• We celebrated Thanksgiving with EVERYONE!  Not all at the same time, but we saw my family and Daddy’s family, including the boys’ older half-siblings and their families
• We celebrated Daddy’s birthday (Mommy and Daddy got to try out the new AMC dine-in theater and Studio Movie Grill – so cool!)
• I pinned way too many more things to Pinterest
• Squishy and I went to the mall with friends and he played Monkey Preschool Lunchbox for a good 20 minutes at least while they got help at the Apple store
  

December 2011

• We all tried out the fire pit at Badi and Pop-pop’s house
• Squishy got sick and had to have breathing treatments – fortunately, we already have the machine and everything we need at home!
• Got pictures with Santa and his (giant) Elf at the YMCA
• Pinned a butt-load more things to Pinterest
• Discovered Erin Condren
• Aunt Eggy graduated from college!!!!  Woo hoo!  Jose got an awesome hat while there
  
• Jose’s Kindergarten class had a Cowboy Christmas Party at McCormick Railroad Park, for which Badi bought him INCREDIBLE cowboy boots – Aunt Laurla got to go with him!
  
• Squishy fell off the toilet and bashed his head on the toilet paper holder – it wasn’t bad, but he bled like a stuck pig and I was scared out of my mind
• Jose and I made an awesome Christmas gift for his teacher
• The biscuits exploded in our fridge
• We celebrated an AMAZING Christmas
• Jose perfected his spiral football pass to Uncle Jimmy (henceforth referred to as “Dude”, thanks to Squishy) whild he was in town
• We (the adults) went to the Insight Bowl game and witnessed the trouncing of the Iowa Hawkeyes – the boys got to be babysat by Aunt Laurla, which they loved!

January 2012

• Squishy and I went and visited Ms. Jess – always a great time when we do that!!!  Love her  ❤
• Jose got to have a playdate with his twin friends from preschool!
• Pastor Frank left our church 😦
• Jose went on a hike with Daddy, Badi, and Aunt Eggy
  
• I inexplicably deleted everything off my external hard-drive and am still working on recovering files to this day – including all of my photos from around February 2011 through January 2012.  GO ME!!!

February 2012

• Squishy got his 2nd official haircut – I hated it and probably won’t be taking him again till he has to go to Kindergarten
• Jose and Squishy had a mud day – Squishy was covered from head to toe; I had to insist that Jose get dirty.  Those two!!  LOL!
• Badi and I organized our entire book collection (well, not quite – we still need shelves for all of the early reader/picture books)
  
• Jose had a Valentine’s celebration at school that I went in to help with; we also celebrated at home, of course
• I got a new camera!
• The boys played a lot of baseball and soccer, went on hikes, and went to the park – mostly with Badi and Aunt Eggy
• Jose and Daddy went on a hike with Pastor Frank, because Jose really misses him and is hoping to stay his friend
• Jose got fancied up for his “Elegant Event” at school
  
• The boys did a LOT of bike riding – even going a couple miles at a time with Daddy (well, Squishy sat in the seat on the back of Daddy’s bike for that, lol)
• We discovered that Jose is an amazing artist
  
• Jose went and saw Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace in theaters with me – I saw it with my dad for my birthday 13 years ago
• Squishy got to have his very first Dunkin Donut
  

March 2012

• Squishy and I went and spent the day with Ms. Jess and we got to see horses, too!
  
• The boys started soccer with Aunt Eggy as their coach – they love it but have a little bit of a hard time staying focused
• Jose watched Labyrinth for the first time. He was completely engrossed and looked equal parts horrified and amused, lol!
• Jose took part in his first art contest – it ended this past week and he didn’t win, but he did get tickets to see Van Gogh Live! at the Science Center
• Daddy and I celebrated our 8th anniversary and Jose bought me flowers because he wanted me to know how much he loved me, lol
• Dude and his girlfriend came and visited Phoenix and we had a great time with them – especially getting to know Ms. Caitie!
  
• The boys fell in love with Party Rock Anthem thanks to Kia’s Hamster commercial
• Jose had his first “official” kiss – well, she actually kissed him, and it was at the prompting of the class troublemaker, but still… 😉
• Jose got to go to Pump It Up to celebrate a friend’s birthday and had a BLAST!
• Aunt Eggy and I took the boys to see The Lorax – even Squishy did pretty good despite asking if the movie was done 5 minutes into it
• Jose sent Flat Stanley to Dude in North Carolina
  
• Badi and I had to tell Jose the story of Adam Walsh. He just will not stay by me in stores lately – insists on disappearing and he about gave me a heart attack in Bookmans. I was a little worried it would give him nightmares (it didn’t seem to), but honestly? When the other option is him being kidnapped, I’ll take a few nightmares any day. 😐
• We got an iPad.  Enough said.
• Jose went to another friend’s birthday party – this one at a park and hosted by High 5 Sports (it was supposed to have been the day after his other one, but was postponed due to rain.) Since Momma and Daddy were leaving for Flagstaff that day, he got to be picked up after school by his friend’s mom.  He felt so grown up.
• We spent Spring Break in Flagstaff in a BIG condo – Badi and Pop-pop joined us for a few days. We went to the park, played sports, hiked, saw Indian ruins – all kinds of fun!!  Jose’s favorite part was getting to use our hot tub, lol.
• Jose discovered Tim Hawkins.  He is in love.  Ha ha!

April 2012:

• The boys started swim lessons – Squishy in the pool with Aunt Eggy, Jose in the pool independently, of course
• Squishy got sick and have to have breathing treatments again, but he got better really quick!
• Daddy and I finished the boys’ re-purposed crib chalkboard desk just in time for Easter!
  
• We celebrated Easter in style – egg and basket search at home; Sunday School, Eggstravaganza, and service at church; another egg search (real eggs, this time!) at Badi and Pop-pop’s house; dinner with everyone at our house
  

And now you’re all caught up!!!  And so am I.  WHEW!!! 😛

One Month+ (Now with Johnny Appleseed Pic!)

Jose and Mrs. Teacher

Well, here I am, taking forever to update again. Surprised? 😉 Didn’t think so. At any rate, I’m taking a little time tonight to reflect on the past month (plus.) Jose started Kindergarten on August 24 (see picture above of him with his teacher the day before school started), and he has changed so much just in this short amount of time. It’s as though this vast source of knowledge has been opened in his brain and it all comes tumbling forth in wondrous proportions. I am amazed daily by my child and the incredible amount of information he has seemed to suddenly assimilate in such a minute portion of his life. Here’s an example of what I mean:

• Counts to 200 with little hesitation and few (if any) mistakes
• Repeats/explains Biblical stories, such as Creation or the fall in the Garden of Eden, with precise detail and knowledgeable application of the principles presented therein
• Creates patterns incorporating up to four different shapes and colors
• Writes sentences and creates (not just draws, but uses scissors, paints, glue, whatever it takes) illustrations, such as: “the hELuctR And the pilit” = “The helicopter and the pilot.”
• Solves fairly difficult mazes with apparent effortlessness
• Comes home and copies concepts done at school, explaining why they were done that way, to show us what he’s been learning
  
  

  Jose was learning about x-rays in class

• Memorizes one or two sentence Bible verses every week
• Displays an awareness of a variety of sight words, including (but certainly not limited to): and, the, a, an, he, she, go, we, me, it
• Rhymes words with ease, sometimes even coming up with complex rhymes
• Identifies beginning and end sounds in many words

And again, these are just some of the multitude of things he blows me away with on a daily basis.  I am honestly not trying to brag or somehow toot my own horn for my son’s accomplishments.  I am just in utter shock at how much he has absorbed, how quickly it’s happened, and how well he’s retaining concepts that I distinctly remember not learning until 1st or 2nd grade.  I don’t know how today’s early childhood teachers manage to cram in everything that state standards require them to pass on to the kids at such young ages, but it is apparent that Jose’s teacher is doing something right.

The best part?  Jose loves school.  LOVES IT.  Even when he was having a small issue with one of the other students last month, he never once indicated in any way that he didn’t want to go.  He loves learning, loves being with the other kids, loves sharing what he was taught that day.  Sometimes he loves doing one thing or another a little too much, goes overboard, and ends up on yellow, but hey – I TOTALLY understand how that . . .  squirrel!!! And in just this month+ that he’s been there, so much has happened in class!  He’s already been star student, meaning he got to bring home the class “pet”, Stella (a plush Mario star, lol), and had special activities every day centered around the class finding out more about him – from an “about me” poster, to having momma (me) come in and read to the class, it was a fun week all around.

He made a best friend before school even started – the day before to be exact.  At “get acquainted day”, we met the other students in his class, and I knew before he even told me, which student would be his best friend – a pretty girl who has just turned 6 and is taller and slightly better at everything than the other kids.  Want to know how I knew she’d be his best friend?  The first thing she did was boss him around, and tell him what he needed to be doing on his treasure hunt.  He has a serious pattern when it comes to his best friends – bossy girls who love to spend time with him, playing pretty much any game he dreams up.  With their own rules added, of course. 😀

The class has had a Johnny Appleseed week, ending in a dress up like Johnny day (I don’t have a picture on this computer, but I’ll try to remember to come back and post one later.)

Here's the picture! And yeah, I know that's the wrong kind of pot, but his ginormous head was too massive for our single handled pots, lol. Besides, they made paper ones in school that they actually wore.

They’ve made it almost through the entire alphabet and will be having an alphabet party at the end of this week.  They go to computers, library, P.E., art, music, and Spanish at least once a week.  They try new foods in class, practice things on the SMART board, and learn little class “cheers” (which Jose LOVES to repeat, as long as he’s not being too shy.) 😛  They have chapel twice a month, and the Lord really speaks to Jose’s heart during those times.  There is so much more that I know I’m forgetting, but I am just a little overwhelmed (in a really good way!) at all the changes being wrought in my little boy.

I was so worried that I was somehow sending him off into the great unknown, unprepared for what he would face, when it turns out I was the one woefully unprepared for just how well he’d blossom and how incredible he’d turn out to be in his new environment. 😳

Dinner Date w/o Dinner!

Kids say, and do, the darndest things, don’t they?  As we were coming home from working in Daddy’s classroom today, Jose asked us, “Can we have Laurla come over and watch ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ with us?  Oh, and can we ask Eggy and Badi and Pop-pop, too?  But not Uncle Jimmy, because he’s in North Carolina, so he can’t come.”

Laurla was the first to respond, with a text that said, “aww. i think we can arrange that.” And then in response to Jose stating that he wants to sit next to her on the couch, “haha what a cutie. it would make my heart smile to sit next to him.” 🙂

Badi and Pop-pop were next – a telephone call to say that they would love to come over, too, but that we didn’t need to worry about feeding them dinner because they’d just eat before they came over.

Eggy was last to respond; she wasn’t sure at first if she could make it due to early work hours the next day, but when she heard there was the possibility of free food, she was all for it. 😀

So, the little mastermind was very pleased and began planning away immediately.  At first, he was disappointed that ONLY Eggy would be eating.  He said, “But I wanted it to be a dinner date!” (Where he got that phrase from, I have NO idea.) 😀 He shared with us his idea that our house would be a restaurant where we would set up a table in the middle of the room with balloons, and he would take our orders from the menu.  But then he said, “It’s okay.  We can just do that next time everyone comes over, okay?”  What a sweetheart!

Moving on from the dinner-less dinner date idea, he began to focus on the movie-and-popcorn date instead.  Knowing that he wanted to sit next to Laurla on the couch, he began to devise a scheme for how all of us could sit together and be next to the people we love.  Well, at least how 4 of us could do that.  I guess everyone else is supposed to fend for themselves… 😉 At any rate, here’s his master plan:

“Laurla and I will sit next to each other, and you [momma] will sit next to me also.  You will sit on one side and Laurla will sit on the other, and half of me will sit next to each of you.  The girls on the outside and the boys on the inside.  Except then where will daddy sit?  Okay, how about this.  Daddy will sit next to you, momma, since you don’t get to sit next to him in church anymore.  And then I will sit next to daddy so the boys are in the middle, and Laurla will sit next to me.  And I will hold hands with Laurla and daddy, and daddy will hold your hand, momma.  And then the free hands will hold each other and we’ll be stuck together forever like glue.  Except for if you have to go to the bathroom.  Then we’ll pour water to melt the glue so we don’t have to all go to the bathroom together.  That would be EMBARRASSING.” 😆

Bad Momma, BAD!! Oh, and Happy Birthday to Squishy! (With 5,792,601 pictures…)

Clearly, I am terrible at keeping up on a blog. 😦 There are a number of things I wanted to post that I never got around to doing (and one I need to go back and do for sure – Jose’s birthday), but rather than continue to put new posts off till I got around to completing the backlog, I thought I’d better just go ahead and post this NOW while I’m thinking about it!!  (How’s that for a run-on sentence?? 😉)  With many mea culpa’s for the lack of updates and skipping of events, let me now proceed to my reason for (finally) stopping by today to make a post! IT’S SQUISHY’S 2ND BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We aren’t actually celebrating till later in the week because of various reasons, but that’s no reason to not acknowledge the fact on the actual day of his birth!  Again, he’s turning TWO!!! I can’t believe it!!!! Here’s his birth stats:

Birth Date: July 17, 2009
Time: 3:06pm
Weight: 9lbs, 6oz
Length: 20.5″
Head: 14.5″

And now, pictures!!!!

A Very Happy Day With Jose! (May 21, 2011)

Okay, I realize I haven’t posted in FOREVER! I am so sorry… At any rate, here’s a post that I had written up – THOUGHT I had posted – and realized today I never had. It was originally meant to be published waaaaay back on May 21st, so that gives you an idea just how lazy I’ve been lately, lol! Well, without further ado, here is my very happy day with Jose:

I had the most awesome afternoon with Jose today. He just “graduated” pre-K, which you know, and it struck me that my little boy was growing up waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too fast, so I wanted to take him out and do something extra-special with him. Here’s how our afternoon/evening went!!!

Lunch: We went to McDonald’s (yay for giftcards!!), and I let him pick whatever he wanted to off of the menu. He got a cheeseburger, fries, a strawberry-banana smoothie, and a fruit & yogurt parfait. But what he was most excited about was that he got to play on the playplace as long as he wanted to without having to worry about us leaving because The Younger was getting cranky. Lol!

After lunch treat: We drove to Sprinkles, whispered “duck, duck, goose”, and got a free red velvet cupcake that we split. I love that they put the saguaro cacti decorations on the top of them, here. 🙂

Next: We went across the street to the mall, and walked around the entire place for almost three hours, mostly just window shopping and talking. And we rode every single escalator in the place (some more than once), as well as riding the tallest elevator in the place that you could look out of and see the mall from. We also went down a flight of stairs that was surrounded by water

While there: We stopped at Hot Topic and got a “Superman” shirt for daddy and a new earring for momma. We got some tea at the food court (he loves iced tea), and also got to sample some pineapple-blueberry tea at Teavana. We picked up a birthday present for the boy in his Pre-K class whose party we are going to this upcoming weekend.

Super cool secret awesome graduation gift: I took him to Build-a-Bear! We had never ever been before and he had so much fun. He picked the rainbow colored peace-sign bear, put the “pomp & circumstance” sound in his paw, decked him all out like he was graduating, and named him after himself.

**As we were leaving the mall, Jose looked up at me and said, “Now I love you even more. You are the best momma in the whole world!!!”**

Dinner: We went to Sauce (yay for gift cards, again!) and shared a cheese pizza with mozzerella and basil on it. Oh, and we got even more iced tea. Lol.

Pit Stop: We had to go to Best Buy and pick up a new car charger for my phone, because mine randomly died in the middle of our adventure. 😦

Dessert: We doubled back to Mojo to get frozen yogurt. He got “original tart” with blueberries, orange juice poppers, mini M&Ms, and gummy bears. I got “red velvet” with gummy bears. We sat and watched “The Pink Panther” for about an hour, enjoying our yogurt, before we finally went home.

**As he was going to bed (at after 10:00pm!!!) he told me, “I’m so glad we did that today. It made me happy even though I’m sad that I’m growing to 5.”**

And that was our day!!!!!!!!

Jose & Jose Jr.

Pre-K Graduation **sob**

Our Little Graduate!

Well, Jose is officially an elementary school kid now! 😥 Last Friday, he participated in a graduation ceremony with the rest of his pre-K class. They were all so cute! They sang songs (made us cry with, “I Believe I Can Fly”), said a Bible verse and prayer, and got diplomas. There was a short vocation about how God is always with you (NOTE: in Spanish, “go with God” is “vayA cOn Dios”, not “vayO cAn Dios”… ;)), the principal read a poem titled “Where the Children Grow” that the kids’ teacher first heard at HER son’s graduation, and there was also a wonderfully poignant slideshow/video that their teacher put together. It was a great little ceremony and I’m so glad myself, Squishy, Badi, and Jose’s aunts could make it. And the bonus afterward? FOOD! Lol… There were all sorts of dishes to choose from, as well as cake and ice cream. All the kids enjoyed that! 😛

Jose and his teacher

Just wanted to share one little story as well. See the picture below? Well, the mom of the little girl on Jose’s right stopped me after the ceremony to say:
“I have to tell you about Jose and *Little Girl*. She came home and said, ‘Mommy can I go to Jose’s party?’ And I said, ‘We’ll have to see – who is Jose?’ And *Little Girl* said, ‘Jose is the boy in my class who loves me. He says I’m like a rose.'”
AWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!